Huge Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Special Family

    Hot 1 year ago

    A
    guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
    wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
    in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day
    he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
    sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed
    to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about
    it with the owner.
    "This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you
    gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
    "Well," says the seller, "it's pretty
    simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside
    and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
    It protects it from the rain. In
    fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my
    tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."
    and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
    The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker.
    He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's
    ecstatic (being a Harley more...

    Two guys in an elevator

    Hot 6 years ago

    A small white guy went into an elevator, when he got in he noticed a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black guy looked down upon the small white guy and said, "7 foot tall, 350 pounds, 20inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, Turner Brown."

    The small guy fainted!!

    The huge black dude picked up the little white guy and brought him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asked the small white guy,

    "What's wrong?" Our petite friend said, "Excuse me, but what did you say?"

    The black giant looked down and repeated, "7 foot tall, 350pounds, 20 inch dick, 3 pound left ball, 3 pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown"

    The white guy sighed, "Oh, thank God! I thought you said Turn around!!'"

    A man goes to Spain and attends a bullfight. Afterwards he goes to a nearby restaurant and orders the specialty of the day. The waiter brings him two very big balls on a huge plate, which the tourist eats with relish. The next day he goes to the same restaurant again, once again orders the specialty of the day, and he is brought two very big balls on a huge plate. It tastes even more scrumptious. The third day he does the same and the fourth, but on the fifth day he goes to the restaurant and orders the specialty of the day, and they bring him two very small balls on a big plate. The man asks, "What gives?" And the waiter says, "Senor, the bullfighter doesn't always win!"

    One warm day, Mulla Nasruddin was taking it easy in the shade of a walnut tree. After a time, he started eyeing speculatively, the huge pumpkins rising on vines and the small walnuts growing on a majestic tree.

    Sometimes I just can't understand the ways of God! He mused. Just fancy letting tiny walnuts grow on so majestic a tree and huge pumpkins on the delicate vines!

    Just then a walnut snapped off and cut down smack on Mulla Nasruddin's hairless head. He got up at once and lifting up his hands and face to heavens in supplication, said:

    Oh, my God! Forgive my inquiring your ways! You are all-wise. Where would I have been now, if pumpkins grew on trees!

    Mad Martin

    Hot 5 years ago

    Once upon a time, this guy named Fred decided that he was rough and
    tough enough to seek his fortune in the Wild West. (This was in the
    days when the Wild West meant Texas and Arizona, with indians, outlaws,
    tornados and droughts-not the current situation, where the Wild West
    means California and you have to brave hottubs, mellowspeak, fires and
    earthquakes. That is, it was a simpler time.)
    So, Fred found his way to a frontier town and became the bartender at
    the wildest saloon in the territory. He soon proved how rough and
    tough he was, and the owner of the bar was pleased with how he broke up
    fights and didn't skim too much off the receipts. He told Fred that he
    (Fred) was doing a fine job, but he should remember one thing: "If you
    ever hear even a rumor that Mad Martin is coming to town, just save
    what you can, put a bottle of Red Eye on the counter, and head out of
    town as fast as you can."
    Fred was pretty perplexed more...

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