Erection Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Magic Cure for Impotence

    Hot 2 months ago

    A man has been married to his wife for over 20 years and during the past 5 years he has been unable to obtain an erection. He feels just horrible because he is unable to have sex with his wife. He fears his wife may leave him for another man. Out of desperation the man has gone to every doctor and expert in the area. Despite numerous tests and suggested remedies, no reason for his impotence can be found and no cure has worked. The man decides to share his problem with his best friend. His best friend gets all excited and says, "I know who can help you! There is mystic and he was able to help someone else I know with the same problem! You must go see him!"So the man takes his friend's advice and goes to visit this curious mystic. The man explains his problem, the mystic looks him over and says, "Ah, yes, indeed I can offer a temporary cure." The man is just elated, he tells the mystic, "Whatever it is, please do it! I want to be able to have sex with my wife, more...

    Chuck norris erection

    Hot 9 months ago

    Chuck norris walked down the street and got an erection... there were no survivers.

    Rubik's Cube

    Hot 2 years ago

    What does a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common?
    The longer you play with them the harder they get.

    A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor. The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, and says, "I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say 'one, two, three' and you'll get the largest erection you've ever had. After your wife's been satisfied, simply say 'one, two, three, four' and it will disappear for 12 months."
    Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television, he says to his wife, "Watch this! One, two, three!" His schlong becomes larger and stiffer than ever before.
    His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, "That's great! But what did you say 'one, two, three' for?"

    Condom Slogans

    Hot 2 years ago

    1) Cover your stump before you hump
    2) Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
    3) Don't be silly, protect your Willie
    4) When in doubt shroud you spout
    5) Don't be a loner, cover your boner
    6) You can't go wrong, if you shield your dong
    7) If your not going to sack it, go home and whack it
    8) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
    9) It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
    10) If you slip between her thighs, condomize
    11) She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
    12) If you go into heat, package your meat
    13) While your undressing Venus, dress up your penis
    14) When you take off her pants and blouse, suit up your mouse
    15) Especially in December, gift wrap your member
    16) Never ever deck her, with an unwrapped pecker
    17) Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
    18) The right selection, is to protect your erection
    19) Wrap it in foil, before you check her oil
    20) A crank with armor, will never harm more...

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