Blah Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bridge to Hawaii

    Hot 8 years ago

    A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.
    The genie said,
    'OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah, blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes, so you can forget about three. You only get one wish.'
    The man sat and thought about it for a while and said,
    'I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?'
    The genie laughed and said, 'That's impossible. Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel! No, think of another wish.'
    The man said OK and tried to think of a really good wish. Finally, he said,
    'I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I more...

    A florida genie

    Hot 7 years ago

    A man was walking along a Florida beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it, and out popped a genie.
    The genie said, "OK, You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month, and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three... You only get one wish!"
    The man sat, and thought about it for a while and said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I'm scared to fly, and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"
    The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible!!!
    Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete - how much steel! No, think of another wish."
    The man said, "OK, I'll try to think of a really good wish."
    Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care more...

    What a woman says: "This place is a mess C'mon, you and I need to clean up.
    Your stuff is lying on the floor, and you'll have no clothes to wear, if we don't do laundry right now!"
    What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah,
    C'mon blah, blah, blah, blah,
    you and I blah, blah, blah, blah,
    on the floor blah, blah, blah, blah,
    no clothes blah, blah, blah, blah,
    right now !

    1. Before you can open the cover of your new book, you must obtain a
    book activation code by phoning Microsoft.
    2. Only one person may ever read your book.
    3. It's full of spelling mistakes and typos.
    4. When you're reading your book, the words can mysteriously disappear.
    5. Libraries, which are for sharing books, are illegal.
    6. You must acknowledge you have read and understood the Book License
    Agreement Hype (BLAH) before you can read your book.
    7. Microsoft has the right to enter your premises to conduct book
    inspections to make sure your book is being read in accordance with the
    BLAH.
    8. The Book Users' Group General Alliance (BUGGA) calculates that the
    annual loss of revenues to Microsoft arising from BLAH violations in
    2001 was $10.97 billion.
    9. There are two versions of your book - the "Standard" and the "Pro"
    versions. In the standard version, those pages containing the most
    useful information more...

    15 Signs You Forgot Someone On Secretaries Day
    1. Phone messages delivered on end of spear.
    2. Your important dictation somehow seems to blah blah blah I am a slave-driving cheapskate.
    3. A copy of the latest bestseller "So, Your Head's Up Your Ass, Now What?" appears on your desk.
    4. When did FTD start doing an "Up Yours" Bouquet?
    5. First, a message that Cindy Crawford is on line 2, followed a few seconds later by Satanic laughter.
    6. It's not so much the cold coffee, it's the staples at the bottom of the cup.
    7. Your big business dinner at the Four Seasons Restaurant in Manhattan is rescheduled for Big Jeb's 24-Hour Truck Stop outside of Newark, New Jersey.
    8. Nude picture of Marlon Brando pops up in your Powerpoint presentation.
    9. Supposedly shredded Whitewater documents turn up in the Washington Post cafeteria.
    10. Now answers the phone, "Smith, Jones and Tighta**."
    11. That NY-to-LA trip she booked for more...

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