Trunk Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Gullible cop

    Hot 1 year agoby TJ

    A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
    Cop: May I see your driver's license?

    Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

    Cop: May I see the owner's card for the vehicle?

    Driver: It's not my vehicle. I stole it.

    Cop: Are you telling me this is a stolen car?

    Driver: That's right. Mind you, now that I think of it, I believe I did see the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

    Cop: There's a gun in the glove box?

    Driver: Yep. I put it there after I shot and killed the whoman who owns this car. Then I stuffed her in the trunk.

    Cop: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?

    Driver: Yes, sir.

    When the cop heard this, he immediately called his captain. Within minutes, the car was surrounded by police and the captain approached the driver so he could handle the tense situation:

    Captain: Sir, may more...

    A couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus, and by chance their seats were next to the elephant pen. While his father was gone buying popcorn, the boy piped up, "Mom, what's that long thing on the elephant?"
    "That's the elephant's trunk, dear," she replied. "No, not that at the other end."
    "Oh, that's the elephant's tail."
    "No, Mom. Down underneath."
    His mother blushed and said, "Oh, that's nothing."
    Pretty soon the father returned, and the mother went off to get a soda.
    While she was gone the boy repeated his questions.
    "That's the elephant's trunk, son," he replied.
    "Dad, I know what an elephant's trunk is. The thing at the other end, down underneath the elephant's tail."
    The father took a good look, "Oh. That's the elephant's penis." "Dad, how come when I asked Mom, she said it was nothing?"
    The man took a deep breath and more...

    A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange: Officer: May I see your driver's license? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI. Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle? Driver: It's not my car. I stole it. Officer: The car is stolen? Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there. Officer: There's a gun in the glove box? Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk. Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!? Driver: Yes, sir. Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation: Captain: Sir, can I see your license? Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid. Captain: Who's car is this? Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner' card. The driver more...

    A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?"
    The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your driver’s license please?"
    The driver responds, "I can’t give it to you – because I don`t have one..."
    "You don`t have one," asks the policeman?
    The Realtor responds, "I lost it 4 times for drunk driving..."
    The policeman is shocked. "I see. Can I see your vehicle registration please?"
    "I am sorry, I can do that either," replies the Realtor, as the homebuyers in the back seat look stunned.
    The policeman says, "Why not?"
    "I stole this car," the Realtor responds, as the homebuyers in the back seat look shocked.
    The Officer says, "Stole it?"
    The Realtor says, "Yes I stole it, more...

    Camouflage practice

    Hot 6 years ago

    During camouflage training in Louisianna, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting
    general.
    "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?"
    "Yes, sir," the soldier answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a woodpecker drilled a hole in my trunk, and I did not move when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my
    lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg, and I heard him the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter" - that did it."

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