Funny Jokes

They say age is just a number...unless it's your number.

Make yourself at

Hot 1 day ago

Make yourself at home... clean my kitchen.

Don't argue with an idiot, people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Canadian driving!

Hot 1 day ago

How to identify a Canadian driver: 1. - One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: MONTREAL2. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window: TORONTO3. - One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: OTTAWA4. - Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: SASKATOON, but driving in TORONTO5. - Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in the back seat: QUEBEC CITY6. - One hand on 12 oz. double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: VANCOUVER7. - One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the brake and both feet on the accelerator, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: RED DEER8. - Four wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on the floor, raccoon tails attached to the antenna: PRINCE GEORGE9. - Two hands gripping more...

With the divorce

Hot 1 day ago

With the divorce, I got custody of the kids and she got custody of the money.

The only thing you have to do is breathe; Everything else is just optional.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.