Funny Jokes

A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then move on. The other man came along behind and filled in the hole. While one was digging a new hole, the other was about 25 feet behind filling in the old. The men worked right past the fellow with the soft drink and went on down the road. "I can't stand this," said the man tossing the can in a trash container and heading down the road toward the men. "Hold it, hold it," he said to the men. "Can you tell me what's going on here with this digging?" "Well, we work for the county government, " one of the men said. "But one of you is digging a hole and the other is filling it up. You're not accomplishing anything. Are n't you wasting the county's money?" "You don't understand, more...

What is every blondes ambition in life? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

What is every blonde's ambition in life? To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Tabby Cat

Hot 2 weeks ago

A woman took her 6-year-old daughter to pick out some fish at the pet store. While there, they walked past the caged cats, and little Emily got curious.
"Mommy, mommy! I wanna look at the kitties."
So they went over to them. Little Emily looked at each pair of cats in each cage, they were set up into pairs of cat species that got along with each other. Little Emily pointed at each cage and asked her mom what the name of each species was.
"Mommy, what's that?" she asked.
"Why, that's a Himalayan."
"What about THAT one?"
"That's a Persian."
And so it went on. When she reached the last cage, little Emily noticed that one of the cats was on top of each other. Pointing to the one on top, she asked "Mommy, what's that one?"
"A Tabby,"
"What are they doing?"
After thinking for a second, the mother said, "Well, they're mating."
A week later, little Emily's more...

Knock Knock Who's there

Hot 2 weeks ago

Knock Knock Who's there! Amy! Amy who? Amy for the top!

Heckling in the courtroom had constantly interrupted the trial, and the judge had had enough. "The next person who interrupts the proceeding will be thrown out of my court!" he said severely, at which the defendant yelled, "Hooray!"

Manners in the USSR

Hot 3 weeks ago

Stalin is giving a speech in a small auditorium. During a pause, someone
in the audience sneezes. Looking up, Stalin asks,
"Who sneezed?"
Noone answers. Stalin orders the guards to escort the last three rows of
people outside, where they are executed. Stalin then asks,
"Now, who sneezed?"
Again, noone answers. Again, Stalin orders the guards to escort the last
three rows outside. Shots are heard. Again, Stalin asks,
"Now! Who sneezed??"
A small, bespectacled man in the second row raises his hand and says,
"Um, I did, comrade."
To which Stalin replies,
"Bless you."
... and then continues his speech.