Funny Jokes

Tell someone if they rub their palm really hard and it smells like peanut butter they will be rich one day...

then when they are smelling their palm push their arm into them and they will slap themself in the face.

In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

Why does everyone think snow white is so innocent when she lives with seven dwarfs that say: "HI Ho" every time they see her!! lolz :D

A woman asked the priest to forgive her because she committed the sin of having plenty pride and that she looked to look in the mirror and and say to herself that she is beautiful.
Then the priest said that its not a sin, it is a mistake. LOL

Ok, this girl in my class has really yellow teeth
So her and my friend where blowing on each other
And my friend said: "girl ur teeth so yellow they run crayola out of it job"

Q. Two feminists in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The police!

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune!