Funny Jokes

Expensive screw

Hot 2 weeks ago

This urban legend is said to happen to the "King of Shoemakers" Tomas Bata. (He was as important to Czech industry as Henry Ford I to the American one.)
Bata was driving through the country and suddenly he realized that something was wrong with his car. Fearing that he might get stuck in the road he stopped at a village and asked for help. The villains directed him to the local blacksmith.
The blacksmith inspected the engine, did something and the car was OK. Then he asked for 100 crowns. Bata was a bit discontent with paying so much money for a minute's work, so he asked for a detailed bill.
The blacksmith took a pencil and a scrap of paper and wrote:
fastened a screw: 2.00
knew which one: 98.00
--
total: 100.00

Knock Knock - Felicity

Hot 2 weeks ago

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Felicity!
Felicity who?
Felicity getting more polluted every day!

Satan tells them "Whoever can do the most horrible deed can go up to Heaven. But you must drink from this fountain to get back on Earth." So the first guy drinks from the fountain, goes to Earth and kills somebody. He comes back and tells Satan. The second man drinks from the fountain, goes to Earth and robs an orphanage. He goes back to Satan and tells him what he's done. Finally, Satan points to the third man and says "You may go to Heaven." The first man and the second man are both outraged. "How could you get any worse than what we did?" "Easy" said the third man, "I pissed in the fountain."

What was Camelot

Hot 2 weeks ago

What was Camelot? A place where people parked their camels!

A little kid's in school

Hot 2 weeks ago

A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."

Werewolf

Hot 3 weeks ago

Mommy, teacher keeps saying I look like a werewolf.
Be quiet dear and go and comb your face.

Q: What`s the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? A. The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells better.