Suddenly Jokes

I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the road, suddenly the man hit his wife square in the face. She turned to him and said, "what was that for?" He said, "that, was for knowing the difference."

A young female teacher was giving her 5th Grade an assignment. Since it was a large assignment, she began to write high up on the chalkboard. Suddenly there was a giggle from one of the boys. Turning around quickly, she asked, "What is so amusing, Derrick?"
"I just saw one of your garters," Derrick explained. "Leave my classroom and don't return for three days!" the teacher yelled.
Turning back to the chalkboard, she continued writing high up on the board when there was an even louder giggle from another boy in the class. Turning around quickly, she asked, "What is so funny, Sam?"
Giggling, Sam said, "Well, I just saw both of your garters." "Get out of my classroom," the teacher yelled. "I don't want to see you back here for three weeks!"
When she turned around to the chalkboard again, she was so frustrated and embarrassed that she dropped the eraser. Bending over to pick it up, she suddenly heard a more...

This is one of the funniest pieces I have ever come across. It is apparently from a real log...
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
Wellhung:Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart:I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung:I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner... it smells funny.
Sweetheart:I want you. Would you like to screw more...

A hip young man goes out and buys the best car available: a 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it sets him back $1.24M. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped (both looking about 90 years old) pulls up next to him. The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there, sonny?"
The young man replies "A 2005 Bugatti Veyron 16.4. It cost $1.24M.
"That's a lot of money" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?
"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The moped driver asks, "Can I take a look inside? "Sure," replies the owner.
So, the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, all right!"
Just then, the light changes, so more...