Bubba died in a fire and his body was burnt pretty bad. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer, were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, “Yup, he’s burnt pretty bad. Roll him over. ” The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, “Nope, ain’t Bubba. ” The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, “Yup, he’s burnt real bad, roll him over. ” The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, “No, it ain’t Bubba. ” The mortician asked, “How can you tell? ” Gomer said, “Well, Bubba had two assholes. ” “What? He had two assholes? ” said the mortician. “Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, ‘Here comes Bubba with them two assholes. ’
Never insult a police officer while they're doing a body cavity search.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Bobby, when I was a child I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Bobby looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
There is no vaccine against stupidity.
yo mama is so poor i lit a ciggarette and she sang "clap your hands, stomp your feet, praise the lord we now got heat."
yo moma so poor i saw her kicking a trash can down the street i said what are you doing and she said moving
yo moma so poor i steped on a cigarette in her house and she said who turned off the lights.
your mama is so poor when you walk in the front door you're walking out the back.
yo momma so poor I stepped on a penny in your front yard and she yelled out
the window, "Get off my life savings!"