Stupid Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Your momma so stupid she waited for a stop sign to turn green

    A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud' hiss-pop' noise.' The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,' explains the guide.' The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.'
    Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a' Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop' noise.' Wait a minute!' says the man taking the tour.' I understand what the' hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that' pop' every so often?'
    'Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,' says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.'
    'Well, that can't be good for the condoms!'
    'Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!'

    Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

    Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

    One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”

    Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”

    With a questioned look on his face, the man replied, “What’s that?”

    “I’ll give you an example,” said the professor. “Do you have a weedeater?”

    Although the question seemed strange, the man answered, “Yes, I do”

    “Well, if you have a weedeater, then you must have a yard, do you have a yard?”

    The man nods.

    “Then, if you have a yard, I’ll bet you have a house.”

    Again, the man agrees.

    “Because you have a house, you must have a wife?”

    Once more, the man nods.

    “If you have a wife, you must be heterosexual, correct?”

    The man again agrees. The man finishes up the full course and heads back to Alabama. When he comes across more...

    Yo mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to make minute rice!

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