Stupid Jokes

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."

Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

A guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud' hiss-pop' noise.' The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,' explains the guide.' The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple.'
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a' Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop' noise.' Wait a minute!' says the man taking the tour.' I understand what the' hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that' pop' every so often?'
'Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine,' says the guide. It pokes a hole in every fourth condom.'
'Well, that can't be good for the condoms!'
'Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!'

- Wave properly you stupid bitch!
- Nan please, that's the Queen

Baby do you have a mirror in your jeans cause I can definitely see my self in them.

Yo mama is so stupid, it took her an hour to make minute rice!