"Close your curtains" joke
Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
Tips for Moving South...Yee-Haw!
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.
3. Just because you can drive on more...
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!