Ugly Jokes

A couple realise they are spending too much and decide to go through the bills together. "Look at this", demands the wife, "£30 on Beer".
Husband replies, "Well, what about this? £40 on make up?"
The wife looks at him with a smile and says, "Darling I have to have the make up so I can look young and attractive for you."
The husband shouts back, "That's what the fucking beer was for!"

I'd like to be the last man on Earth.
Then I would know if all those girls were telling the truth.

your mamma is so ugly she makes blind kids scared

Your momma so ugly when she looked out the window she got arrested for mooning

I may be fat, but you're ugly.
I can lose weight!