Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
Confucius Says Jokes
Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.
Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.
Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.
State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.
He who buries a man's wife alive, should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.
He who plays with self, pulls boner.
Baseball all wrong -- man with four balls cannot walk.
House without toilet is uncanny.
Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.
Man's wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.
Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.
It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.
Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.
Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.
Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.
Man who lay woman more...
Confucius Says: Baseball is wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.
Confucius Says: Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed.
A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
A husband should never question his wife's judgement. Look whom she married!
A lifetime in snooker my dearest, it's happened to you, so don't forget to chalk his cue and the first game you play make sure it's at the end of the day.
A man is as good as he has to be; a woman as bad as she dares.
A man needs a mistress, just to break the monogamy.
A wedding is a funeral where a man smells his own flowers.
A wedding ring is like a tourniquet; it cuts off your circulation.
Advice to submariners: If torpedo overheats, load tube, go deep and eject.
Advice to the new bride: You can't be treated like a doormat if you don't line down.
Advice to the new bride: Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
Two bits of advice to the new bride: One, tell your new husband that you have to have one night a week out with the girls, and, two, don't waste that night with the girls.
After a moment more...