Waterbed Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already
too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A more...

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite. A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. 4 If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. Baseballs make marks on ceilings. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh" it's already too late. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 more...

There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing a superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh" it's already too late.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they more...

There is no such thing as child-proofing your houseIf you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can igniteA 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurantIf you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strongenough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and asuperman capeIt is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a20 by 20 foot roomBaseballs make marks on ceilings.You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up afew times before you get a hit.A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hitby a ceiling fan.When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's alreadytoo late.Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36year old man says they more...

1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape. 2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room. 3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh," it's already too late. 4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. 5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. 6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes. 7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep. 8. Some things will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old that you'd imagine would remain in him or her. 9. Super glue is forever. 10. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know. 11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on more...

1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
8. Some things will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old that you'd imagine would remain in him or her.
9. Super glue is forever.
10. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a more...

THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN
By a Weary Father
(thanks craigs)

- There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.

- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

- A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape.

- It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room.

- Baseballs make marks on ceilings.

- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.

- When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit.

- A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

- The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a more...