Glass Jokes

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    Russian Genie

    Hot 1 month ago

    A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
    bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
    a genie.
    The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
    will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
    The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking
    vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka
    whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
    The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home
    he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
    looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he
    smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and
    it is the best vodka
    that he has ever tasted.
    The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come
    quickly."
    She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes
    another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
    tells her to drink, that it more...

    A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you want."The Russian begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses in it. He looks in the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a taste and it is the best vodka he has ever tasted.The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells her to drink, it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a sip. It is the best vodka she more...

    Cooking Turkey

    Hot 4 years ago

    20 Easy Steps to Cook a Turkey
    1. Go and buy a turkey.
    2. Take a drink of whisky (scotch or bourbon).
    3. Put turkey in the oven.
    4. Take another two drinks of whisky.
    5. Set the degree at 180 ovens.
    6. Take three more whiskies of drink.
    7. Turn oven the on.
    8. Take four whisks of drinky.
    9. Turk the bastey.
    10. Whisky another bottle of get.
    11. Stick a turkey in the thermometer.
    12. Glass yourself a pour of whisky.
    13. Bake the whisky for four hours.
    14. Take the oven out of the turkey.
    15. Take the oven out of the turkey.
    16. Floor the turkey up off the pick.
    17. Turk the carvey.
    18. Get yourself another scottle of botch.
    19. Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
    20. Bless the saying, pass and eat out.

    Proctologist Appointment

    Hot 4 years ago

    A one-eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye a couple of days before his proctological examination. It caused him concern, but since it didn't seem to cause any ill effects, he forgot about it.
    Entering the proctologist's examining room, he did as instructed and undressed, then bent over. The first thing the doctor observed when he looked up the man's butt was the glass eye staring right back at him.
    "You know, you really have to learn to trust me!" the doctor said to him.

    12 year old Scotch !

    Hot 5 years ago

    Santa walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch.
    Santa takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender: "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!"
    Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. Santa takes a sip...same reaction. But the bartender still doesn't believe the patron knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch.
    Again, same reaction from Santa. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours a glass of 12-year-old scotch. Santa takes a sip and is most satisfied.
    All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkedly says:
    "hey mishter, tashte this!"
    Santa obliges...he promptly spits it out.
    "It tastes like piss," Santa shoots back at the more...

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