Empty Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Empty Stomach

    Hot 7 months ago

    Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

    Hillary and Bill again!

    Hot 6 months ago

    When Bill and Hillary first got married, Bill said, "I am putting a box under our bed. You must promise never to look in it."
    In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the better of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.
    In the box there were 3 empty beer cans and $1,874.25 in cash.
    After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her guilt and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry. For all these years I kept my promise and never looked in the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know why do you keep the empty cans in the box?"
    Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess that after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again."
    Hillary was shocked, but said, "I am very more...

    Tale of The Three Bears

    Hot 6 years ago

    It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It's empty!
    "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
    Papa Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It too is empty!
    "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
    Mama Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For goodness sake, how many times must we go through this? It was Mama Bear who got up first. It was Mama Bear who woke everyone else in the house up. It was Mama Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mama Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the paper. It was Mama Bear who set the table. It was Mama Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's food and water dishes. And now that you have decided to come more...

    Little Emily was complaining to her mother that her stomach hurt. Her mother replied, "That`s because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it." The next day, the pastor was over at Emily's family's house for lunch. He mentioned having his head hurt, to which Emily immediately replied, "That's because it's empty. Maybe you should try putting something in it."

    Wrong bitch

    Hot 4 years ago

    An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London.
    The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
    The war weary soldier asked, "Please, ma'am, may I sit in that seat?" The English woman looked down her nose at the soldier, sniffed and said, "You Americans. You are such a rude class of people. Can't you see my little Fifi is using that seat?"
    The soldier walked away, determined to find a place to rest, but after another trip down to the end of the train, found himself again facing the woman with the dog.
    Again he asked, "Please, lady. May I sit there? I'm very tired."
    The English woman wrinkled her nose and snorted, more...

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