Milk Jokes

A medical student is taking a test and one of the questions he sees is: "Name the three best advantages of mother's milk."
The student immediately writes, "One: It has all the healthful nutrients needed to sustain a baby.
Two: It is inside the mother's body and therefore protected from germs and infections."
But the student can't think of the third answer. Finally, he writes, "Three: It comes in such nice containers."

The other night during dinner my brother told a joke and I laughed so
hard that milk shot out my nose. The creepy part is that I wasn't
drinking milk.
- Dave George

Three men are outside a pub when one said, "I dare you to go in and ask for a free glass of milk!"
One of the other men went in the pub and said, "Can I have a free glass of milk?"
"Only if you pick the scabs of my daughter's fanny!"
replied the barmaid.
"Screw that!"
The other man walked in and said, "Can I have a free glass of milk?"
"Only if you pick the scabs off my daughter's fanny!"
replied the barmaid.
"Screw that!"
When the two men went back outside they told the third one that they could only get a free glass of milk if they picked the scabs off the barmaid's daughter's fanny.
The third man said, "I wouldn't mind doing that."
The third man went in and said I will pick the scabs off your daughter's fanny if you give me a free glass of milk."
"Ok," agreed the barmaid.
He went upstairs and picked the scabs of her daughter's fanny and more...

Q: Why do swedes always drink their milk in the store? A: Because on the packet it says: OPEN HERE.

Jim had a date with a really, hot blonde and in preparation for it, he went on the rooftop of his apartment building to get a tan. Not wanting to have any tan lines, he decided to sunbathe in the nude. Unfortunately, Jim fell asleep. When he finally woke up, he was sunburned everywhere, including his member.
Determined to not let it ruin his big date, he hurried back to his apartment and immediately put some lotion on his penis to stop the burning.
His date arrived at his apartment and he treated her to a romantic dinner. After dinner, they were relaxing on the couch in his living room, watching a movie, when the soothing effects of the lotion began to wear off. Jim endured the pain for a short while and finally excused himself so he could apply more lotion, only to find that he had run out.
He recalled a friend telling him that milk was helpful in reducing sunburn pain, so he went into the kitchen, poured a large glass of cold milk, quickly placed his sunburned penis in more...