A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the more...
What's the difference between the Mafia and the Government? Only one of them is organized.
Kowalski worked for the Department of Transportation. One day he woke up ill, with a touch of laryngitis-but-being a dedicated employee he went to work. The boss felt rather sorry for him and didn't want him to do any physical labour-as they were repairing a part of the freeway.
"Kowalski" he says "why don't you go down the road and tell people to slow down going through the construction"
Kowalski is glad for the easy day: He stops the first vehicle:
"Sir" he whispers, his throat feeling worse "please slow down, there's a Government crew up ahead"
"Okay" the guy whispers back "I'll try not to wake them"
What's the difference between government bonds and men?
Private Jones was assigned to the army induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their Serviceman's Group Life Insurance (SGLI). It wasn't long before the center's lieutenant noticed that Private Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the lieutenant stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch.
Jones explained the basics of the SGLI to the new recruits, and then said:
"If you have SGLI and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don't have SGLI, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000."
"Now," he concluded, "which recruits do you think they are going to send into battle first?"