Instead Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Steelers joke

    Hot 2 years ago

    Three Browns fans were standing in line at a convenience store complaining about how the Steelers made it to the Super Bowl instead of their beloved Browns.
    "I blame the management staff," said the first, "because if they would sign eleven new players we could be a great side."
    "I blame the coach and the players," said the second, "because if they would make some effort they might at least score a few touchdowns."
    "I blame my parents," said the third, "because if I'd been born in Pittsburgh instead of Cleveland, I'd be supporting a decent team!"

    you have a 'barrel man' in your house, you may be filipino...(you know.. the wooden man... when you lift up the barrel----schwing!!!) you wash your clothes by hand, you might be Filipino. you use walis tambo and walis ting-ting, you just might be Filipino. you nail all photographs on your walls in the living room, you're a Filipino. you have a very good sense of maniana habit, you might be Filipino. you smoke in your house you put up your knee while eating you eat kanin and ulam using your hand you are pakialamero you say Sugarol, babaero at tumador you are chismosa you say Comfort Room instead of Restroom. you say For Take Out instead of to go. you point w/ your lips, then you might be a Filipino. you say open or close the lights, then you might be a Filipino. you nod upwards to greet someone, you might be a Filipino. your nickname is 'boy', you might be a Filipino. you ask for a Colgate instead of toothpaste, you might be a Filipino. you say 'Canteen' instead of cafeteria, then you more...

    Signs you've been playing HALO (for XBOX) too long.
    -You call your friends by their character name instead of their real name.
    -You can't remember your friends' real names.
    -You believe that the Earth is one huge ring instead of a ball.
    -You cansantly attempt to pistol-whip people.
    -You begin to wonder where the needler and rocket launcher are on campus.
    -You refer to your car as a warthog.
    -You attempt to mount a gatling gun onto the back of your car.

    Help the Homeless

    Hot 4 years ago

    (This was posted a week ago in talk.pol.misc, but thought I'd let you
    mull it over. It is original writing, and is typical of my callous mode
    of social thought which I occasionally fall into.)
    Like many people, I have been thinking about the problem of homelessness in
    America's cities. Besides the obvious suffering of the homeless people, the
    spectacle of raggedly dressed people bent for warmth in the subways and bus
    stations of the cities greets visitors with a pronouncedly negative image.
    I have struck upon a means of eliminating the privation of the homeless while
    lessening the adverse impact they have on the surrounding neighborhoods.
    At a cost of about $250 per individual, each can be outfitted with a friendly
    Disney character costume. Generous insulation and bright, stain resistant
    colors would help to insure that the occupant remains warm inside and cheerful
    outside. As there are so many different characters, each more...

    Signs you are a Canadian

    Hot 4 years ago

    1. You stand in "line-ups" at the movie, not lines.
    2. You're not offended by the term, "Homo Milk"
    3. You understand the phrase, "Could you please pass me a serviette, I just spilled my poutine"
    4. You eat chocolate bars instead of candy bars.
    5. You drink pop, not soda.
    6. You know what it means to be on pogey.
    7. You know that a mickey and 2-4's mean "Party at the camp, eh!!"
    8. You don't hold your hand on your breast when you sing the national anthem.
    9. You can drink legally while still a 'teen.
    10. You know that francophones, anglophones and allophones are not electronic devices.
    11. You talk about the weather with strangers and friends alike.
    12. You don't know or care about the fuss with Cuba, it's just a cheap place to travel to and has good cigars.
    13. When there is a social problem, you turn to your government to fix it instead of telling them to stay out of it.
    14. You're not sure more...

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