"Amazing Goldstein smashing nuts (maybe offfence to jewish)" joke
A traveling salesman visits a small town in the Midwest and sees a circus banner reading, "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein!"
Curious, he buys a ticket and sits through the usual circus acts: animals, clowns, contortionists, etc. Suddenly, trumpets blare and all eyes turn to the center ring. There in the middle of the ring is a table with three walnuts on it. In comes a little old Jewish man, five feet tall and barely able to walk to the table. He unzips his pants, whips out his long shlong, and proceeds to smash all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupts in thunderous applause as the elderly Goldstein is carried off on the shoulders of the clowns.
Twenty years later the salesman visits the same little town and he sees a faded sign for the same circus and the same "Don't Miss the Amazing Goldstein."
He can't believe the old guy is still alive much less still doing his act! So he buys a ticket and sits through various acts. Finally, the center ring is illuminated. This time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are on the table. As before, old Goldstein takes forever to make it to the table. He unzips his fly and proceeds to smash the coconuts with three swings of his amazing shlong.
The crowd goes wild! The salesman requests a meeting with him after the show. In Goldstein's dressing room, the salesman tells him he's never seen anything like his act. But he wants to know why he's now smashing coconuts instead of the much easier walnuts.
"Vell," says Goldstein, "my eyes aren't vhat they used to be!"
One day a little boy over heard his parents in the bedrooom arguing,"You bitch, your cunt is too hairy! Whell your dick is to small bastard!"The boy was curious about these new words so he went in the room and asked what they meant. The startled parents did their best more...
Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman.
So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot."
"Oh really, hmm, didn't know that", replied the more...
What is the difference between a faggot and a refridgerator?
The fridge dont fart when you pull the meat out.
Q: What is the difference between a regular faggot and a midget faggot?
A: Regulars come out of the closet; midgets come out of the cupboard.
Q: What did one faggot say to the other faggot at the gay bar?
A: Can I push your stool in?