Sits Jokes

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    Yo Mama's So Fat...

    Hot 10 months ago

    - Yo Mama's so fat, she couldn't fit in a satellite photo.
    - Yo Mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
    - Yo Mama's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
    - Yo Mama's so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came out of George Washington's nose
    - Yo Mama's so fat, the telephone company gave her two area codes
    - Yo Mama's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs
    - Yo Mama's so fat, when she goes to the beach, kids shout: "Free Willy! free Willy!"
    - Yo Mama's so fat, she's got her own zip code
    - Yo Mama's so fat, people jog around her for exercise
    - Yo Mama's so fat, when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...
    - Yo Mama's so fat, if she weighed 5 more pounds, she could get group insurance.
    - Yo Mama's so fat, she jumped in air and got stuck.
    - Yo Mama's so fat, when she wears Maclom X shirt, helicopters land on her.
    - Yo Mama's so fat, more...

    Tale of The Three Bears

    Hot 4 years ago

    It's a sunny morning in the Big Forest and the Bear family is just waking up. Baby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It's empty!
    "Who's been eating my porridge?" he squeaks.
    Papa Bear arrives at the table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl. It too is empty!
    "Who's been eating my porridge?" he roars.
    Mama Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, "For goodness sake, how many times must we go through this? It was Mama Bear who got up first. It was Mama Bear who woke everyone else in the house up. It was Mama Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mama Bear who went out into the cold early morning air to fetch the paper. It was Mama Bear who set the table. It was Mama Bear who put the cat out, cleaned the litter box and filled the cat's food and water dishes. And now that you have decided to come more...

    Fighting In a Bar

    Hot 3 years ago

    A big, strong man walks in a bar, and looks for his usual seat. He finds that there is a little man already sitting there, so asks him to move.
    The little man refuses to get up, so the muscular man punches him and says, "That was a punch from Korea." The little man gets up and sits down again, so the muscular man kicks him and says, "That was a kick from China." The little man gets up one more time and sits down again, so the muscular man spin kicks him and says, "That was a spin kick from Japan." The little guy gives up and leaves.
    30 minutes later the, the little man comes back. He finds that the big man who had beat him up was still there. So he walks up to him and hits him hard in the head. The muscular man is knocked out in the floor, so the little man tells the bartender, "When he wakes up, tell him that was a crowbar from Sears."

    A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"and orders ahamburger.The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "ONE BURGER!"The cook, who's even bigger, screams, "BUR-GER!"Whereupon he grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it inhis bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and tosses it on the grill.The old lady says, "That's the most disgusting thing I've everseen!"The counterman says, "Yeah? You should be here in themorning when he makes the doughnuts!"

    War Veterans

    Hot 1 year ago

    Santa mistakenly gets on a bus full of war veterans, but upon discovering it is going his way, decides to stay on for the ride.
    He sits down next to a guy that jerks his head to the left every few seconds, over and over.
    This really bothers Santa so he asks him, "What's wrong with you?"
    The reply is, "I got this in the war."
    Santa finds this pretty disturbing so he switches seats.
    The next guy he sits by has uncontrollable spastic twitches in his right leg, causing him to kick the seat in front of him, and even kicks Fred a few times.
    So Santa asks him, "What is wrong with you?"
    Again the answer is, "I got this in the war."
    Santa moves. The next guy poor Santa sits by begins erratically flailing his left hand.
    Santa says, "Let me guess, you got that in the war?"
    His reply was, "No, I got it out of my nose. I can't get it off of my hand."

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