Drink Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Russian Genie

    Hot 7 months ago

    A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
    bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
    a genie.
    The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
    will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
    The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking
    vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka
    whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
    The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home
    he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
    looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he
    smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and
    it is the best vodka
    that he has ever tasted.
    The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come
    quickly."
    She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes
    another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
    tells her to drink, that it more...

    Beer Machismo

    Hot 7 months ago

    After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
    The bartender gave him the drink.Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers - Budweiser."
    The bartender proceeds with the order.The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever."
    The bartender gives him an Amstel.Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
    The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?"
    He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."

    Parachute Crap Shoot

    Hot 7 months ago

    Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes. The president gets one and says, "My country needs me!" and jumps.
    The smartest man in the world grabs one and says, "Well, the world needs me, since I'm so smart," and jumps. One parachute left and the old man says, "You take it, my life is almost over anyway." The little girl says, "No. We both can jump." Confused, the man asks, "How?" The little girl says, "The smartest man in the world took my backpack."
    The Train Journey II "Four priests board a train for a long journey to a church council conference. Shortly into the trip one priest says, "Well, we've worked together for many years now, but we don't really know each other. I suggest we tell each other one of our sins to get better acquainted."
    They look nervously at one more...

    Frog in My Throat!

    Hot 1 year ago

    A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hamster. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The hamster stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.
    After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the hamster's music.
    While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "He's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he more...

    Neutron Joke

    Hot 1 year ago

    One day a neutron walks into a bar. The neutron sits down and orders his drink. The drink comes which he drinks and the neutron asks the bartender, "How much do I owe you?" The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

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