Drink Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Neutron Joke

    Hot 1 month ago

    One day a neutron walks into a bar. The neutron sits down and orders his drink. The drink comes which he drinks and the neutron asks the bartender, "How much do I owe you?" The bartender said, "For you, no charge."

    Beer Machismo

    Hot 1 month ago

    After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the Presidents of the brewreys decide to go to the pub for a drink. The coors President said "Can I have the only beer made with Rocky Mountain Spring Water: a Coors, please."
    The bartender gave him the drink.Then the Budweiser President orders, "The King Of Beers - Budweiser."
    The bartender proceeds with the order.The Amstel President walks in and orders "The Finest Beer ever."
    The bartender gives him an Amstel.Then the Guinness President says, "I'll have a coke please."
    The bartender is taken aback by this but gives the coke to him anyway.All the Presidents looked over at him and said, "Why have you ordered a coke?"
    He replied, "Well if you all aren't drinking beer, then neither shall I."

    American Beer

    Hot 2 weeks ago

    This guy goes to a doctor and says he has a problem with sex.
    "Doc, I think my dick is just too damn small," he says. The doctor asks him which drink he prefers.
    "Well, American beer," he replies quite bemused.
    "Aaaahhh. There's your problem, it shrinks things, those silly American beers... you should try drinking Guinness. That makes things grow."
    Two months later the chap returns to the doctor with a big smile on his face. He shakes the doctor by the hand and thanks him.
    "I take it you now drink Guinness?"
    asked the doctor.
    "Oh no, Doc," replies the man, "but I've got the wife on American beer!"

    A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
    bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
    a genie.
    The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
    will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
    The Russian begins thinking, "Well I really like drinking
    vodka." Finally the Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka
    whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
    The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home
    he gets a glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
    looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks like vodka. Then he
    smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a test and
    it is the best vodka
    that he has ever tasted.
    The Russian yells to his wife, "Natasha, Natasha, come
    quickly."
    She comes running down the hall and the Russian takes
    another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He
    tells her to drink, that it more...

    Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

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