Waterbed Jokes / Recent Jokes
There is no such thing as child-proofing your house
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite
A 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a
superman cape
It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a
20 by 20 foot room
Baseballs make marks on ceilings.
You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up a
few times before you get a hit.
A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's already
too late.
Brake more...
1. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
2. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.
3. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh," it's already too late.
4. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
5. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
6. If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes.
7. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep.
8. LEGOS will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old....
9. Super glue is forever.
10. McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know.
11. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on more...
There is no such thing as child-proofing your houseIf you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can igniteA 4 years-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurantIf you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan the motor is not strongenough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and asuperman capeIt is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a20 by 20 foot roomBaseballs make marks on ceilings. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat you have to throw the ball up afew times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hitby a ceiling fan. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh;" it's alreadytoo late. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36year old man says more...
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call Suicide Prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a '60 Minutes' news team waiting in your office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
You want to put the clothes on you wore home from the party
but find there aren't any.
Your twin brother forgot your birthday.
You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes
from the city.
Your car horn accidentally goes off and remains stuck as
you follow a group of Hells Angels along a deserted highway.
You wake to discover your waterbed has sprung a leak and
then realize you don't have a waterbed.
Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
You call your answering service and you're told to mind
your own business.
Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
Your tax refund more...
If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing pound puppy underwear and a superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room
When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh," it's already too late
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it
A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 60 year old man says they can only do it in the movies
If you use a waterbed as home plate while wearing baseball shoes it does not leak - it explodes
A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq foot house 4 inches deep
Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four year old
Super glue is forever
McGyver can teach us many things we don't want to know
No matter how much Jello you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water
Pool filters do not like Jello
VCR's do not more...