Typist Jokes

If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly, or the
davenport. If you cannot manage this in time, get to an Oriental
rug. Lacking an Oriental rug, shag is good.
DOORS: About them...
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get one open,
stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once the door
is opened for you, it is not necessary to use it. You can
change your mind.
When you have ordered an outdoor door opened, stand half-in
and half-out and think about several things (particularly
important during very cold weather or mosquito season).
Doors swinging: Avoid.
GUESTS: About them...
After dinner, when walking on the dinner table among the
dishes, be prepared to look surprised and hurt when scolded.
The idea to convey is, "But you let me do it when there
isn't company!"
Determine quickly which guest hates cats. Sit on that lap
during the evening. You will know him because he will call
you more...