Legs Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Bosses are like legs

    Hot 7 months ago

    Bosses are like legs... When they get to the top, they become asses.

    The Cat And the Milkman

    Hot 7 months ago

    Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy"."So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.At a loss for something to say the father replied, "Tiddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Tiddles up to heaven".Little Lucy seemed to take her Tiddles death quite well. However, two days later when her father came home from work Lucy had tears in her eyes and said: "Mommy almost died this morning".Fearing something terrible had happened the father shook the girl and shouted, "How do you mean Lucy? Tell Daddy!""Well", mumbled Lucy, "soon after you left for work this more...

    Ornithology Test

    Hot 6 months ago

    Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. Joe was ready.The morning of the test, Joe entered the auditorium and took a seat in the front row. On the table in the front was a row of ten stuffed birds. Each bird had a sack covering its body, and only the legs were showing. When class started, the professor announced that the students were to identify each bird by looking at its legs and give its common name, species, habitat, mating habits, etc.
    Joe looked at each of the birds' legs. They all looked the same to him. He started to get angry. He had stayed up all night studying for this test and now he had to identify birds by their LEGS? The more he thought about the situation, the angrier he got.Finally he reached his boiling point. He stood up, marched up to the professor's desk, more...

    A woman decides that she's had it with trying to find a decent man in a bar. So she takes out an ad in the paper that says she is seeking a mate who is loyal, rich and a good lover. After a few days, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and sees a man in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs. He says, "I'm here about your ad."
    Momentarily taken aback, she says, "Well, how do I know that you're loyal?"
    "Well I saved my platoon from the Viet Cong in Vietnam. That's how I lost my arms and legs."
    "Well, how do I know that you're rich?" she inquires.
    He replies,"I make over three million dollars a year. I have my own software company. You can look at my bank statement".
    Looking at him in his wheelchair, she demands "How do I know you're a good lover?"
    He shrugs "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

    Going To Heaven

    Hot 1 year ago

    Little Lucy went out into the garden and saw her cat Tiddles lying on the ground with its eyes shut and its legs in the air. She fetched her Dad to look at Tiddles, and on seeing the cat he said, as gently as he could, "I'm afraid Tiddles is dead, Lucy."
    "So why are his legs sticking up in the air like that, Daddy?" asked Lucy as she fought back the tears.
    At a loss for something to say the father replied, Tiddles' legs are pointing straight up in the air so that it will be easier for Jesus to float down from heaven above and grab a leg and lift Tiddles up to heaven."
    Little Lucy seemed to take her Tiddles' death quite well.
    However two days later when her father came home from work Lucy had tears in her eyes and said, Mommy almost died this morning."
    Fearing something terrible had happen, the father shook the girl and shouted, "How do you mean, Lucy? Tell Daddy!"
    "Well, mumbled Lucy, "Soon after you left for more...

  • Recent Activity