Bathroom Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lipstick at School

    Hot 1 year ago

    According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
    That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
    Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
    To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip more...

    I have a headache

    Hot 1 year ago

    The husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained (as usual) "I have a headache"...
    "Perfect" he said. "I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with aspirin. You can either take it orally or as a suppository - it's up to you!"

    A man has been married to his wife for over 20 years and during the past 5 years he has been unable to obtain an erection. He feels just horrible because he is unable to have sex with his wife. He fears his wife may leave him for another man. Out of desperation the man has gone to every doctor and expert in the area. Despite numerous tests and suggested remedies, no reason for his impotence can be found and no cure has worked. The man decides to share his problem with his best friend. His best friend gets all excited and says, "I know who can help you! There is mystic and he was able to help someone else I know with the same problem! You must go see him!"So the man takes his friend's advice and goes to visit this curious mystic. The man explains his problem, the mystic looks him over and says, "Ah, yes, indeed I can offer a temporary cure." The man is just elated, he tells the mystic, "Whatever it is, please do it! I want to be able to have sex with my wife, more...

    Good Manners

    Hot 1 year ago

    Little Johnny's Good Manners! During class, a teacher asked the boys the following question: "If you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the restroom?"

    A boy named Michael raised his hand first and said, "I would tell her, just a minute, I have to go pee really quick, I'll be right back!" "That would be very rude and impolite," the teacher responded.

    Next a boy named Peter raised his hand and said, "Excuse me, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table," replied the teacher.

    Then, little Johnny raised his hand and said, "I would say darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner!" The teacher fainted.

    0 to 200 in 6 seconds

    Hot 4 years ago

    Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
    really pissed.

    She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
    driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE! !"

    The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
    up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
    gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

    Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
    the box back in the house.

    She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

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