Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember to call me every night," God said, before Virgin Mary left.
So, in the first night, the telephone rang in Heaven. "Heaven," God answered. "Hello, it
The phone call...
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?"
And his lovely wife replies, "I don't any idea who it was.
It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."
A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.' What's up?' he says.
'I'm having a heart attack,' cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,' Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your wardrobe and he's got no clothes on!' The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the wardrobe floor.' You jerk,' yells the husband,' my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around with no clothes on scaring the kids!'
Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"
Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"
"The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".
Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Sorry, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"
Ah Beng got the job.
...a texas prison inmate was caught using a smuggled cell phone...he kept the phone hidden in his rectum with a ring tone that sounded like a fart, so no one noticed...the inmate reported the reception as crappy.