"Virgin Mary" joke

Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember to call me every night," God said, before Virgin Mary left.
So, in the first night, the telephone rang in Heaven. "Heaven," God answered. "Hello, it

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!

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A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...

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Mr. Spears announced he will write an autobiography so people will have a better understanding of who he is. Federline will write the book as part of a Learning Annex class he's taking called, "Autobiography Writing For Talentless Douchebags With Nothing To Say."

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A man submitted an autobiography to a publisher. The publisher read the first 3 pages and said, ” I cant publish this book! Youre just writing a story about your car!
The man said, ” I know….. thats why they call it an auto-biography!! ”

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garry:I think your brother was an only child. treetop
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garry:you are 1 bottle short of a 6pack
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Jaime:Your hairlines so messed up Mexicans cross it thinking its the border
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jazmin:yo hairline so far it went all the way back to the beginning of the earth
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awaggwedj:Your hairline look like a rollercoster
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bleh:scooby doo cant find yo lining
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bleh:yo lining is like star wars its far far away
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bleh:yo lining like a raging bull
Funny Joke? 126 vote(s). 63% are positive. 8 comment(s).