Clear Jokes

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    Virgin Mary

    Hot 1 year ago

    Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember to call me every night," God said, before Virgin Mary left.
    So, in the first night, the telephone rang in Heaven. "Heaven," God answered. "Hello, it

    The coast is clear

    Hot 5 years ago

    A man's business trip is canceled and he is at home with a rather nervous wife. They go to bed, but about midnight, the phone rings.
    The man rolls over and answered, "Hello?" "What?" "How the hell should I know, I live in Phoenix."
    He hangs up and his wife asks, "Who was it dear?"
    "Just some idiot who wanted to know if the coast was clear!"

    A Young Couple

    Hot 1 year ago

    A young couple was out cruising one evening. While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you take off all of your clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
    When the speedometer hits 100 she starts to strip. When she gets all her clothes off, he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car over.
    The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help.", he pleads. She replies, "I can't, I'm naked."
    He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover your crotch with that and go get help from the gas station down the road."
    She takes the shoe, covers herself between the legs, and runs to the gas station down the road. When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "HELP! HELP! My boyfriend's stuck!"
    The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her crotch more...

    Moon Mission

    Hot 6 years ago

    Moon MissionNASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blonde. When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us? Over." "Oink, oink, here Pig 1, read you loud and clear." "Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?" "Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing. Over." "That's right. Over and out." They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage." Hello, Pig 2? Come in please." "Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear." "OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?" "Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program." "That's right, Pig 2. Over and out." An hour later, when the rocket has achieved the correct speed the last stage drops off more...

    Blonde in space rocket

    Hot 5 years ago

    The NASA is launching a rocket to the moon. On board there are two pigs and Kiki, a stunning blond.
    When the rocket is outside the stratosphere, the first stage drops off. Contact is made: "Houston here, Pig 1, Pig 1, do you read us, over."
    "Oink, oink, here Pig1, read you loud and clear"
    "Pig 1, do you still know your instructions?"
    "Yes, when we get to the moon, I press the red button to initiate the moon landing, over."
    "That's right. Over and out."
    They go on until the rocket separates its booster stage. "Hallo, Pig2, Here Houston, come in please."
    "Oink, oink, here Pig 2, read you loud and clear."
    "OK, Pig 2 do you remember your instructions?"
    "Yes, when we've landed on the moon and are ready to leave, I press on the green button to initiate the launch program."
    "That's right. Over and out."
    An hour later when the rocket has achieved the more...

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