Slide Jokes / Recent Jokes
A Slide Rule doesn't shut down abruptly when it gets too hot.
One hundred people all using Slide Rules and Paper Pads do not start
wailing and screaming due to a single-point failure.
A Slide Rule doesn't smoke whenever the power supply hiccups.
A Slide Rule doesn't care if you smoke, or hiccup.
You can spill coffee on a Slide Rule; you can use a Slide Rule while
completely submerged in coffee.
You never get nasty system messages about filling up your entire
paper quota with pointless GIF pictures for the root window.
A Slide Rule and Paper Pad fit in a briefcase with space left over
for lunch or a change of underwear.
A properly used Slide Rule can perform pipelined *and* parallel
operations. (Okay, you need a guru for this.)
You don't get junk mail offering pricey software upgrades that fix
current floating point errors while introducing new ones.
A Slide Rule doesn't need scheduled hardware maintenance.
A Paper Pad more...
(14 July 2000, Canada)
It was a dare that Sheldon, 25, will literally never take again. He and a group of friends found themselves at a Calgary apartment after an evening spent at a local bar. It was there that a joking challenge was issued. "Who wants to ride the in-house water slide?" The slide was actually a garbage chute.
Sheldon volunteered, tumbled into the opening, and his subsequent headlong slide beat the standard elevator service down to the first floor. An unforgiving trash compactor awaited his arrival, and friends administered CPR there until emergency crews arrived at the scene. But they were too late.
The 12-story fall had already dispatched Sheldon to his Darwinian demise.
As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
One day, 3 men were walking around in the desert. One was poor, but had lots to drink and was smart; one was rich and very thirsty but was smart, and the last was poor, thirsty and stupid.
Suddenly a genie popped up and said, "Each of you can have one wish, but it is a different sort of wish to the usual. Each of you can go down this magic slide," and a slide appeared from nowhere, "and whatever you say in the slide you will land in a large pile of whatever you said."
The first man went down and said, "GOLD," and he landed in gold; the second man said, "COCA-COLA," and he landed in coca-cola; the last man said, "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" and he landed in wee.
There was a English, Scottish and Irish man and they took a trip down to the park for a wee slide.
Then the English man saw a sign saying: "Magic Slide Take Care Use With Care."
So the English man went first and he went down and said "GOLD" so he landed in a puddle of gold.
Then the Scottish man down and he said "SILVER" and he landed in a puddle of silver.
Then the Irish man went down and he said "WEE" and he landed in a puddle of wee.
theres was a black man a white man and a mexican in the desert they all came upon a genie and he said you get one wish so they all wished for something to drink so a slide come out and the genie said slide down the slide and say what u want to drink and u will land in it. the black man went first and said lemonade so he landed in lemonade the white man went down and said beer so he landed in beer the mexican went down and said weeeeeee!