United States Jokes

I was able to get my hands on George Bush’s farewell speech, which he will give on his last day in office. It goes like this:
“My fellow Americans.
My bad.
Good luck everybody!”

The pro-life group "Operation Save America" is trying to close Mississippi's only abortion clinic. The group wants abortion limited to when the mother's life is in danger or if she's black.

Astronomers in Prague today have decided Pluto is no longer a planet. In related news, producers in Hollywood have decided Tom Cruise is no longer a star.

Italian researchers say that shots of Botox can relieve constipation.
"Apparently Italians inject it in a different place," said Senator Nancy Pelosi.

A growing corruption scandal is sweeping New Jersey. It's good to see something is finally sweeping New Jersey.