Clinton Jokes

Jerry Falwell was seated next to President Clinton on a recent flight.After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drinkorders.The President asked for a whisky & soda, which was brought and placedbefore him. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also likedrink.The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped bya brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!"The President then handed his drink back to the attendant and said,"I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."

President Clinton and his wife are at the first baseball game of the season. At the start of the game the pitcher comes up in the stands and whispers something in Clinton's ear.
All of a sudden Clinton looks at Hillary and yells, "Okay, Hillary, GET OUT!".
She looks surprised but leaves.
The pitcher looks at Clinton and says, "No, I said to throw out the first PITCH!"

What's the difference between greeting royalty and greeting President Clinton?
You only go down on one knee to greet royalty!

Bill Clinton and Al Gore went into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu, the waitress came over and asked Clinton, "Are you ready to order, sir?"
Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!" the waitress replies with disgust. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life, I don't believe that's a good idea. I'll come back later when you are ready to make an order from the MENU."
She walks away.
Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "Sir, it's pronounced 'Quiche'…"

One day in the future, Bill Clinton has a heart attack, dies prematurely -
and goes straight to Hell. The Devil greets him, but says "I don't know
exactly what to do with you. Of course you are on my list, so you will have
to stay - but you got here a little earlier than I expected and I don't have
your room ready yet."
The Devil thinks for a moment and says, "Tell you what I can do. There are a
couple folks here who weren't quite as bad as you were. I can let one of them
go so long as you take their place. I'll even let you decide who gets to
leave."
Clinton thought that sounded pretty good, so the Devil opened the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and
surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No," Bill said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think
I could be doing that all day long."
The more...