How do you know Monica Lewinsky is Jewish? If she wasn't, she wouldn't have stained her dress.
Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and the Green Bay Packers have in common?
A: They both BLEW the BIG one.
Why are Monica Lewinsky and a change machine alike?
They both say..."insert Bill here!"
A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?"
Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was on her knees."
Willie the Whale and his whale girlfriend, Monica, are swimming happily through the ocean when they come upon a boat. On seeing the boat, Willie says, "Hey, I've got a great idea! Let's swim up under that boat and blow out really hard through our blowholes!"
Monica says, "Oh, I don't know..."
"Come on, it'll be fun, come on, just this once!", says Willie.
Monica agrees and they swim up under the boat and blow out, capsizing the boat and sending hapless sailors into the briny blue.
As they are swimming away, Willie says, "Wow, that was fun, wasn't it? Hey! I've got another idea! Let's swim back there and eat all the sailors!"
To which Monica, exasperated, replies, "Look, I agreed to the blow job, but I'm not swallowing any seamen."