Massachusetts Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    State Slogans

    Hot 7 years ago

    Alabama:
    At Least We're not Mississippi
    Alaska:
    11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
    Arizona:
    But It's a Dry Heat
    Arkansas:
    Litterasy Ain't Everthing
    California:
    As Seen on TV
    Colorado:
    If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
    Connecticut:
    Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
    Delaware:
    We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
    Florida:
    Ask Us About Our Grandkids
    Georgia:
    Without Atlanta we're Alabama
    Hawaii:
    Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
    (Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
    Idaho:
    More Than Just Potatoes...
    Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
    Illinois:
    Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
    Indiana:
    2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
    Iowa:
    We Do Amazing Things With Corn
    Kansas:
    First Of The Rectangle States
    Kentucky:
    Five Million People; Seven Last Names
    Louisiana:
    We're Not All Drunk Cajun more...

    Pats Accused Of Cheating

    Hot 6 years ago

    The NFL's New England Patriots had a video camera confiscated during their 38-14 win against the Jets on Sunday- after a coach on their sidelines was suspected of stealing Jets play calls. The Patriots admit taping the game, but only to win America's Funniest Home Videos.

    Mitt the Twit

    Hot 6 years ago

    Massachusetts Governor, Mitt Romney, decried stem-cell research. He said that his administration and the Bush administration are taking steps to stave off an ‘Orwellian’ future. He described a future with laboratories growing tray upon tray of new embryos. He’s obviously confusing Orwell’s vision of the future with Aldous Huxley’s, Brave New World. Wherein children are born from embryos in a factory according to the economic need of the society. An Orwellian future would be a government that twist language to meet their political goals, spies on its people, equates war with faith, and prohibits dissent

    The following are actual stories provided by travel agents:
    I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that their hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.
    I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Capecod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response... click.
    A man called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state."
    I got a call from a man who asked, "Is it possible to see England from more...

    Rodney Harrison Retires

    Hot 3 years ago

    Rodney Harrison has decided to leave the New England Patriots to become a broadcaster with NBC. Anyone who's played for Bill Belichick knows a thing or two about being on camera.

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