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    Super hero sex

    Hot 1 year ago

    Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.
    A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to see if he fancied a Few beers. Spiderman told him he had a date with Catwoman.
    As a last resort, Superman flew over to Wonderwoman's apartment to see If she was free.
    As he landed on her balcony, he saw Wonderwoman naked on the bed with her legs open. Superman thought to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could be in there, have sex & out again before she knew what was happening." So Superman did his super thing in a split second & flies off happily.
    Meanwhile on the bed, Wonder woman said "Did you hear anything?"
    "NO"! said the Invisible Man, "But my ass hurts like hell!"

    A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the more...

    A Blonde's Diary

    Hot 1 year ago

    MONDAY: It's so much fun to cook for Ron. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. Fortunately, the neighbors were kind enough to loan me some extra bowls.
    TUESDAY: Ron wanted fruit salad for dinner. The recipe said serve without dressing so, I didn't dress. What a surprise when Ron brought his boss home for dinner.
    WEDNESDAY: A great day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed sort of silly, but I took a shower. I can't say it improved the rice any.
    THURSDAY: Today, Ron asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Which is what led up to Ron asking me why I was rolling around in the garden.
    FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was exactly the same as when I left.
    SATURDAY: Ron more...

    Real Dilbert Quotes

    Hot 4 years ago

    A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists:
    1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.)
    2. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping)
    3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company)
    4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service)
    5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule."
    6. more...

    KIDS IN CHURCH

    Hot 2 years ago

    3-year-old Reese:
    "Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
    Harold is His name.
    Amen."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    A little boy was overheard praying:
    "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
    I'm having a real good time like I am."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~! ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
    After the christening of his baby brother in church,
    Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
    His father asked him three times what was wrong.
    Finally, the boy replied,
    "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
    and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin,
    the Lord's Prayer for several evenings at bedtime.
    She would repeat after me the lines from the prayer.
    Finally, she decided to go solo.
    I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each more...

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