"State Slogans" joke

Hot 8 years ago

Alabama:
At Least We're not Mississippi
Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't be Wrong!
Arizona:
But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California:
As Seen on TV
Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only Dirtier and With Less Character
Delaware:
We Really Do Like the Chemicals in our Water
Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia:
Without Atlanta we're Alabama
Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death to Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois:
Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky:
Five Million People; Seven Last Names
Louisiana:
We're Not All Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine:
We're Really Cold,
But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland:
A Thinking Man's Delaware
Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
Michigan:
First Line of Defense From the Canadians
Minnesota:
10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars at Work
Montana:
Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, and Very Little Else
Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada:
Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire:
Go Away and Leave Us Alone
New Jersey:
You Want a ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York:
You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...
North Carolina:
Tobacco is a Vegetable
North Dakota:
We Really are One of the 50 States!
Ohio:
We Wish We Were In Michigan
Oklahoma:
Like the Play, only No Singing
Oregon:
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island:
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina:
We Have Never Actually Surrendered to the North
South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee:
The Educashun State
Texas:
A Whole 'Nother Country!
Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont:
Yep
Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington:
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!
Washington, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family - Really!
Wisconsin:
Come Cut Our Cheese
Wyoming:
Wynot?

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Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A short time afterwards, a golden retriever dog trotted up to the more...

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