I always get the Bacon Brothers confused.So I made myself this cheat sheet:
Kevin N. Bacon - Actor
Michael A. Bacon - Musician
Chris P. Bacon - Delicious
Once Laloo Yadav, Sonia Gandhi, a saint and a schoolboy were traveling by a private plane. Suddenly the engine caught fire and the pilot came out shouting, “This plane is going to crash! And we have only four parachutes and there are five of us in the plane.
Since I am a very important Indian Airlines pilot I am taking one parachute and getting out of here. ” Saying this he rushed to the luggage area grabbed one parachute and jumped off the plane. Sonia Gandhi said, “Since I am the future Prime Minister of India I am very important and have to live! ” She also grabbed a parachute and jumped.
Laloo Yadav said, “I am the king-maker of this country, the most honest politician of India and above all the most intelligent person living in this country, and the most intelligent person must live! ” Saying so Laloo went to the luggage area, grabbed one and jumped off the plane.
The old saint said to the school boy, “There is only one parachute left, and there are more...
As Mickey and Minnie were before the judge in divorce court, the judge looked at Mickey and said, "Listen here, Mr. Mouse, I cannot grant you a divorce from Minnie."
"But why not, Your Honor?" a stunned Mickey asked.
"I have reviewed all the information you submitted to the court and I can find no evidence to support the allegation that she's crazy," explained the judge.
"Your Honor," Mickey exclaimed, "I didn't say she was 'crazy', I said she was fucking Goofy."
Steven Spielberg was discussing his newest project - an action docudrama about famous composers, starring top movie stars. Sylvester Stallone, Steven Seagal, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger were all being courted for the top roles.
Hoping to have the box office "oomph" of these superstars, Spielberg was prepared to allow them to select the composers they would portray, providing they were among the most famous.
"I have always admired Mozart," declared Stallone. "I would really love to play him."
"I have always been partial to Strauss and his waltzes," stated Seagal. "He is the one I would like to play."
"Chopin has always been my favorite and my image would improve if people saw me playing the piano," Willis said. "I'll play him."
Spielberg was very pleased with these choices. "Sounds splendid," he said. Then, turning to Schwarzenegger, he asked, "Well Arnold, who would you more...
Verizon Wireless has announced plans to offer full-length television shows for customers to watch on their cell phone.
I don’t know about this. Don’t we have a enough trouble driving while on the cell phone already? Now, soon you’ll be in the car, watching an episode of ‘Two and Half Men’ while you run over Two and Half Men.