What did Michael Jackson get when he passed his driving test?
A couple of minors
A husband and wife pulled guns on each other and shot it out at church during a marriage counseling session after he arrived late, drinking a beer. Both were wounded. With a beer in one hand and a gun in the other, Michael Martin shot his wife as she tried to walk out of the meeting at St. James Episcopal Cathedral, their counselor said.
A bleeding Bonnie Martin pulled a pistol from her purse and shot her husband in the shoulder. The two took the gunbattle outside, where Bonnie Martin collapsed and was fired on again. Michael Martin allegedly hit his wife at least once more before he ran out of bullets. "They were arguing.
It was your typical domestic dispute. Then the fireworks started. It's a good thing that he had been drinking because he could have hit her more," said the Rev. Bud Searcy. He was a lousy shot."
It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by ST. Patrick himself, and he addressed the boys thusly: "Lads, I'm here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, don't step on any of the ducks or you'll be punished for eternity. Sean went in first and was amazed to see that the entire ladscape was encompassed by ducks, and try as he might, sure enough he stepped on one. He was immediately joined by one of the homliest colleens he's ever laid eyes on, and she said,"Well love, you stepped on a duck and now we're together for all time."And of course the exact same thing happened to Michael only his companion was even the worse for wear. By this time Tim was absolutely terrified. And he gingerly managed to make it most of the way across the court without stepping on a single duck. Suddenly, his arm was taken by a young more...
Michael Jackson was in a room bumming George Michael. Suddenly Michael Jackson said 'I have to go now, but i'll be back in five minutes, whatever you do don't wank.' At that, Michael left.
Five minutes later Michael returned to find cum all over the ceiling and walls. 'What the hell happened here, I told you not to wank.' But George replied 'I didn't; I farted'
Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson rapes little kids.