Television Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Two guys were in a bar

    Hot 1 year ago

    Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

    Duggar is the only American who observes Labor Day every nine months.

    Even in Disguise

    Hot 3 years ago

    A blonde walks into an electronics store and points to something behind the clerk." How much is that television set?" she asks." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the clerk said. So, the girl walks out. The next day, she returns wearing a brown wig. She again approaches the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?" The clerk replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." Again, the girl walks out. She again tries the next day, this time wearing a red wig. She goes up to the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?" The clerk again replies, "We don't sell to blondes!"Well, the girl was kind of suspicious. She asks carefully, "How do you know I'm a blond?" The clerk looks at the girl and says..."Because that's not a television, it's a microwave!"

    Monicagate sells soap

    Hot 1 month ago

    An Israeli soap powder company is using the U.S. presidential sex scandal to sell stain-removing detergent.

    In a television commercial, the Lever Israel company suggests that its Biomat detergent can deal with even the most stubborn stains caused by what has euphemistically been called DNA material.

    It shows' 'FBI agents'' entering the' 'home'' of Monica Lewinsky to remove, wash and return the dress at the center of an investigation into whether President Bill Clinton had an affair with the former White House intern and told her to lie about it.

    For what the company called legal reasons, the spelling of Lewinsky's name on a mailbox outside the house was Monika Lavinsky.

    But the two agents slip up in their apparent mission to protect the president.

    On leaving the house, they report by wrist radio the dress is now' 'whiter then white'' -- only to be told by a voice in their earpieces:' 'White? But it's a blue dress.''

    The more...

    Melinda Duckett, a 21 year old mother whose son is missing, killed herself shortly after a grueling interview with CNN's Nancy Grace.
    Scheduled next to appear on Nancy Grace's show is Nancy Grace, who will be questioned in the death of Melinda Duckett.

  • Recent Activity