Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"
A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"
"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television."
"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."
"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of the punishment."
Duggar is the only American who observes Labor Day every nine months.
A blonde walks into an electronics store and points to something behind the clerk." How much is that television set?" she asks." Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," the clerk said. So, the girl walks out. The next day, she returns wearing a brown wig. She again approaches the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?" The clerk replies, "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes." Again, the girl walks out. She again tries the next day, this time wearing a red wig. She goes up to the clerk and asks "How much is that television set behind you?" The clerk again replies, "We don't sell to blondes!"Well, the girl was kind of suspicious. She asks carefully, "How do you know I'm a blond?" The clerk looks at the girl and says..."Because that's not a television, it's a microwave!"
NBC apologized for airing an Emmy sketch which featured a plane crash on the same day that 49 people were killed in a plane crash in Kentucky. Explained the 4th place network, "We didn't know we still had viewers."