Television Jokes

Duggar is the only American who observes Labor Day every nine months.

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money. "I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

A newspaper reporter was writing a feature story about prison life and was interviewing one of the prisoners. "Do you watch much television here?"
"Only the daytime shows," the inmate said. "At night we're locked in our cells and don't see any television."
"That's too bad," the reporter said, "But I do think it is nice that the warden lets you watch it in the daytime."
"What do you mean, nice?" the inmate said. "That's part of the punishment."

Bill Clinton will campaign for his wife today in South Carolina - a move that could keep Hillary in the headlines in the midst of Oprah Winfrey's mega-visit to the state to stump for Barack Obama tomorrow.

Not to be outdone, Dennis Kucinich will be the keynote speaker at the UFO convention in Roswell, NM.

Larry King told Conan O'Brien that he wants to be Cryogenically frozen after he dies.King says it worked for him once before in the Ice Age.