Dirty Mouth Jokes
So I live with my aunt and she's a total bitch. She has a dog too. The dog's also a bitch.
Effectively inducing an orgasm in a woman can be complicated, even with the assistance of machinery. I was using a vibrator on a girl one time and I figured applying the vibrator at full speed to her clit would get the job done, but no. Somehow, her clit managed to move around underneath, so I had to keep repositioning it. She was giving me directions the whole time: "up...left...left...down...right...up..." I felt as if I was playing Dance Dance Revagina...or Clitar Hero...or Hymen Simon.
In a bid to resolve a sticky mess, a judge has decided that an Argentine company can continue making its own Bazooka gum even though its relationship with gum company that made the brand famous has long since soured.
After hearing the news, Bazooka CFO Joseph G. Epstein (aka "Bazooka Joe) was so unbelievably distraught he apparently comitted suicide.
Authorities claim the cause of death was an overdose of a lethal cocktail of pure heroin, "Pop Rocks" and tropical flavored "Razzles"
Comic Icon, U.S. Senator, Eye-Patch Supermodel, Famous Nazi Hunter
A new report from the Pentagon classifies homosexuality as a mental disorder, in the same class as retarded. Homosexuality responds: it takes one to know one. Bitch.
You've heard about the highly competitive behavior of type A personalities, compared to the more laid-back, personality of type Bs.
Well now I hear there is a new label- Type D's. They are people who display constant hostility, anxiety, anger, and depression.
Type D personality? Didn't we used to have a better name for this kind of person? I think the term was "asshole".