Stand-Up Comedy Jokes
Adam Sandler turns 40 in a few months and the new father says he's ready to shift his focus. Sandler and his wife, Jackie, welcomed their first child, Sadie Madison, last month.
Sandler reports fatherhood is going well, but admits he is not sure if he will be able to answer all of the questions that inquisitive children will surely ask, such as "Why is the sky blue?", "Where do babies come from?", and "Why haven't you made a funny movie since Happy Gilmore?".
Bernie Mac announced he is retiring from stand-up comedy.
After hearing this Dane Cook and Carlos Mencia decided to do the professional thing and divided up his jokes evenly.
My brother said that he thinks Dane Cook's career is just an elaborate ploy to get laid.
I told him that almost everything anybody ever does is part of an elaborate ploy to get laid.
This weekend, Comic Relief will be helping the victims of Hurricane Katrina. "We want to remind viewers that there are still many people who need help," said host Robin Williams, who will also remind viewers that loud does not equal funny.
For each pair of Google searches, choose the one that returns the greater number of search results.*
1) a. "anal fissures" b. "vaginal itching"
2) a. "Blacks are stupid" b. "Jews control the media"
3) a. "Paris Hilton" & "dumb ass" b. "Paris Hilton" & "skank"
4) a. "dirty Sanchez" b. "rusty trombone"
5) a. "hot Asian teens" b. "fat girls naked"
6) a. "Janet Reno is sexy" b. "Rosie O'Donnell is sexy"
7) a. "Michael Jackson" & "pedophile" b. "Whitney Houston" & "crackhead"
*search results as of August 20, 2006, 2:35 EDT
answers: 1)a 2)b 3)b 4)a 5)b 6)a 7)a