Texas Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    That's Nice

    Hot 2 years ago

    Two Southern belles, one of whom was from Texas, were seated on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion talking. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my first child was born, my husband had this beautiful mansion built for me."
    "That's nice," commented the lady from Texas.
    "When my second child was born," the first woman continued, "he bought me that fine Cadillac automobile you see parked in the drive."
    Again, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
    "Then, when my third child was born," boasted the first woman, "he bought me this very exquisite diamond and emerald bracelet."
    Once more, the lady from Texas commented, "That's nice."
    "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" asked the first woman.
    "My husband sent me to charm school," answered the lady from Texas.
    "Charm school!" exclaimed more...

    Texas: Convicted

    Hot 2 years ago

    Texas: A man convicted of robbery worked out a deal to pay $9600 in damages rather than serve a prison sentence.
    For payment, he provided the court a check - a *forged* check. He got 10 years.

    Rangers Sign Nolan Ryan

    Hot 2 years ago

    Nolan Ryan has agreed to become the Texas Rangers’ new president, making him the best pitcher in the organization.

    A Texas rancher was driving through Mexico and stopped at the edge of the road to admire the scenery and a white beautiful horse caught his eye. The horse looked healthy well kept and was in a separate corral. Just for tries the Texan asked one of the workers if the horse was for sale. The worker trying to communicate said "No, no, he no look to good." The Texan was not satisfied with the answered because he saw that the animal looked great and insisted on buying it, after a few arguments the worker arranged for the sale and the Texan took the horse back to his ranch. He rode the horse through his ranch and galloped to the barn when suddenly the horse ran right into the barn wall. Frustrated the Texan takes the horse back to Mexico and talks to the worker that sold him the horse and explains what happened. The worker said, "I told you he no look to good"

    Amazing Facts

    Hot 6 years ago

    * The term "bank teller" originated in the wake of the 1929 stock market crash, when banks began hiring low-paid workers to "tell" throngs of frantic depositors that their money was gone.

    * Scandinavian berserkers used to cut out their eyes before battle to spare themselves the sight of the carnage they invariably wrought.

    * The city of Slaughter, Texas (population: 11, 284), has never had a homicide occur within its boundaries.

    * Rubbing Tabasco on one's upper lip before bedtime is an effective temporary cure for sleep apnea.

    * British pop singer Baby Spice is the great-great-great-great-great-great-grandniece of Archduke William Pinkley-Hogue of Standishfordshire, making her 103rd in line for the throne of England.

    * Moths are unable to fly during an earthquake.

    * When in heat, female hippopotami secrete an oil with a flavor similar to strawberries. Kalahari bushmen use the oil to make flat-bread more...

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