Bailout Jokes

A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"

Random House, publisher of "A Million Little Pieces," has agreed to a financial settlement with readers who claim they were defrauded by James Frey's memoir.
Zondervan, a publisher of the Bible, immediately declared bankruptcy.

A lady here died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their service charges on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank:

Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in January."

Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."

Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"

Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Citibank: "Excuse me?"

Family more...

The Emperor - sorry, the President - has quietly claimed sweeping new powers allowing him to open Americans' mail without a judge's warrant.

Sources say he'll use this new authority to finally get his own Capital One "No Hassle Rewards" card.

It turns out that Bono, who has been pushing the U.S. and EU to fork over ever more money for third world debt relief, hasn't been paying into his share of that burden--since Ireland exempts artists and authors from taxation. But Irish tax laws are about to change that, and Bono has been moving his business to Holland, where he pays practically zero taxes on royalties.
Does he just expect everything to get done pro Bono?