Return Jokes

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disneyland. When they saw a sign that said "Disneyland left" they turned around and went home.

Three PhDs and three MDs are going to a conference and must travel by train to get there. At the station, the three MDs buy their three tickets and watch as the three PhDs buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" says one MD. "Just watch and you'll see," answers a PhD.
They all board the train and the MDs take their seats and watch as all three PhDs cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. The train departs and shortly afterward, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says "Ticket,
please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The MDs see all this and agreed it is quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the MDs decide to copy the PhDs on the return trip and save some money (managed care and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the more...

Three engineers and threeaccountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountantseach buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket."How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see,"answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seatsbut all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.Shortly after the train hasdeparted, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom doorand says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emergeswith a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy theengineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). Whenthey get to the station they buy a single more...

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, "Buk Buk BUK." The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.
Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say, "Buk Buk BuKKOOK!" The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.
The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, "Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!" The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.
She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit more...

Never write a line of code that someone else can understand.
Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long
counter intuitive names. Don't ever code "a=b", rather do something
like:
AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));
Type fast, think slow.
Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in
macros. Bury the macros in include files. Reference those include
files indirectly from other include files. Use macros to reference
those include files.
Never include a comment that will help someone else understand your
code. If they understand it, they don't need you.
Never generate new sources. Always ifdef the old ones. Every binary
in the world should be generated from the same sources.
Never archive all the sources necessary to build a binary. Always
hide on your own disk. If they can build your binary, they don't
need you.
Never code a function to return a value. more...