Three PhDs and three MDs are going to a conference and must travel by train to get there. At the station, the three MDs buy their three tickets and watch as the three PhDs buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" says one MD. "Just watch and you'll see," answers a PhD.
They all board the train and the MDs take their seats and watch as all three PhDs cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. The train departs and shortly afterward, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says "Ticket,
please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The MDs see all this and agreed it is quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the MDs decide to copy the PhDs on the return trip and save some money (managed care and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the more...
Three engineers and threeaccountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountantseach buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket."How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant. "Watch and you'll see,"answers an engineer. They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seatsbut all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.Shortly after the train hasdeparted, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom doorand says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emergeswith a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy theengineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all). Whenthey get to the station they buy a single more...
A police chief, a fire chief, and a city manager were traveling together by car to a municipal management conference in a distant city. Their car broke down in a rural area, and they were forced to seek shelter for the night at a nearby farmhouse. The farmer welcomed them in, but cautioned them that there were only two spare beds, and that one of them would have to sleep in the barn with the farm animals. After a short conference, the police chief agreed to take the barn. Shortly after retiring, a knock was heard on the door of the farmhouse. The party inside answered to find the police chief standing there, complaining that he could not sleep. There were pigs in the barn, he said, and he was reminded of the days when everyone called him a pig. The fire chief then volunteered to exchange with the police chief. A short time later, another knock was heard at the door. The fire chief complained that the cows in the barn reminded him of Mrs. O'Leary's cow that started the Chicago fire, more...
Actual bloopers found on church bulletin boards:
Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Taylors. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.
The peace-making meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.
The sermon this morning: Jesus Walks on the Water.
The sermon tonight: Searching for Jesus.
Barbara C. remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
The 'Over 60s Choir' will be disbanded for the summer more...
Our famous Udurawana was attending a conference in London. He was flying for the first time. Here are some incidents which took place during that trip.
At Katunayake airport, the passengers were climbing the steps to board the plane. A foreigner missed his step & slipped. He shouted "Oh, I lost my balance!" and the moving got slowed down a bit. Udurawana was at the bottom of the steps anxiously waiting to get in to the plane for the first time and he shouted, "Doesn't matter you fool, I have enough coins in my pocket. I'll give you some later! "
When it was closer to London, Passengers were given the embarkation card to fill. Udurawana started filling.
Full Name: Heen Banda Udurawana
Sex: Ticked the Female Box and wrote below: unlike these foreigners, we always have sex with females!
Getting off Finally, the plane arrives at Heathrow. Udurawana was excited and anxious to get off. So he more...