Bailout Jokes / Recent Jokes

I'm waiting for the "Cash for Drunkards" program myself.

The current stimulus package before Congress contains tax breaks for purchasing a home and buying a new car. So I plan to get a double tax break by buying a new Chevy van and living in it.

The Obama administration will suspend the "cash for clunkers" program unless the Senate provides $2 billion more for the popular car incentive plan. In California, the popular program will continue in a different form: starting tomorrow car dealers will be offering "hash for clunkers."

A new study finds that Krispy Kreme, Perkins, and Sbarro are some of the most vulnerable restaurant chains to hit bankruptcy. The government could easily save them all, either with a bailout or simply by legalizing pot.
*This joke was also submitted to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Due to the slumping economy, Six Flags is filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. Ironically, when they get to bankruptcy court, they'll have to wait in a line a mile long for two hours only to realize later that this ride really sucks.

*This joke was also submitted to Late Night w/ Jimmy Fallon.

The Cash-for-Clunkers program has been extended assuring people if they lose their homes, at least they'll still have a car to live in.

In crash tests released Tuesday, the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety gave poor marks to the latest wave of "micro cars" like the Smart "fortwo," Honda Fit and Toyota Yaris, for their inability to handle collisions with other vehicles.
However, they did get high marks for frequent flyer eligibility.