Weird Jokes

Once Santa kept having the same weird dream everynight, so he went to a doctor.
Doctor: What was your dream about?
Santa: I was being chased by a vampire!
Doctor: (giggles quitely) So... what is the scenery like?
Santa: I was running in a hall way.
Doctor: Then what happened?
Santa: Well that's the weird thing. In every single dream, the same thing happened. I always come to this door, but I can't open it. I keep pushing the door and pushing the door, but it wouldn't budge!
Doctor: Does the door have any letters on it?
Santa: Yes it did.
Doctor: And what did these letter spell?
Santa: It said "Pull"

A Tucson Arizona cable television provider has apologized to area customers after 30-seconds of porn was mistakenly shown during the Super Bowl. Customers angrily called when programming returned to the Super Bowl.

Going out for sushi is a really good first date idea, especially if you're a shallow person.

Not only does it make you seem classy, but it also gives you the opportunity to see what your date will and won't put in their mouth.

I grew up in a very conservative town where the promise rings and class rings were often sold side by side. So the girls were basically saying, “Mom and Dad, I promise not to be a slut until I graduate.”

Duggar is the only American who observes Labor Day every nine months.