Assistance Jokes

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    A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"

    What to Do With All Those "Free" Soaps When Travelling This is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned. Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank you, S. Berman ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dear Room 635, I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the more...

    Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
    London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel
    involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
    WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING
    Dear Maid,
    Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
    bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
    the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
    and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank
    you,
    S. Berman
    Dear Room 635,
    I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
    from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap
    dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your
    way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should
    change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my
    instructions from the more...

    I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide pages, e.g.,"I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter."
    One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system with the (I kid you not) following message:
    "I have a customer by the balls in toys who needs assistance."

    SUBJECT: Soap Saga
    Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a
    London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel
    involved submitted this to the Sunday Times. No name was mentioned.
    WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THOSE "FREE" SOAPS WHEN TRAVELLING
    Dear Maid,
    Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my
    bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove
    the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest
    and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way. Thank
    you,
    S. Berman
    Dear Room 635,
    I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday,
    from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap
    dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your
    way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should
    change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which more...

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