Plea Jokes / Recent Jokes

A couple of days into his trial, George, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and asked for permission to approach the Judge.
"Your Honor," George said, "I would like to change my plea from innocent to guilty of the charges."
"If you are guilty," the Judge bellowed, banging his fist angrily on the desk, "why did you not say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?"
Meekly, George explained, "Well, when the trial began I did think I was innocent, but that was before I had the opportunity to hear all the evidence against me."

Former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick has reportedly agreed to a plea bargain deal that would get him out of jail early. When asked about it, Vick said, “Hey, every dog has his day.”

I like venison as much as the next guy...as long as the next guy isn't Bryan James Hathaway of Wisconsin. Brian is accused of having sex with a deer and impersonating Jimmy Fallon.

Hathaway's lawyer is trying to get his client off (okay, perhaps a poor choice of words) on the technicality that the deer was dead at the time. The Wisconsin statute prohibits "sexual gratification with an animal" but, the lawyer argues, "animal" implies that the creature must be a living organism.

I'm not quite sure how you roll out of bed and look at yourself in the mirror every day as a lawyer, anyway, but I have to think this wasn't what this guy planned on when he took the LSATs. Mom and Dad must be so proud.

The lawyer is attempting to plea bargain the charge down from "sexual gratifcation with an animal" to being "bat-shit crazy in the first degree."

Prosecutors are holding firm that any plea agreement must include a clause more...

O Lord, hear my anxious plea
Calculus is killing me
I know not of' dx' or' dy'
And probably won't until the day I die.
Please, Lord, help me in this hour
As I take my case to the highest power.
I care not for fame or loot
Just help me find one square root.
And Lord, please let me see
One passing mark in organic chemistry.
Oh such a thing I constantly dread
I'd just as soon join the Marines instead.
Lord, please give me a sign
That you've been listening all the time.
Please lead me out of this constant coma
And give me a shot at my diploma.

After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the blonde accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'innocent' to 'guilty' of the charges."
The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded.
The blonde looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I thought I was innocent, but that was before I heard all the evidence against me."