Choice Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    The Shotgun Constitution

    Hot 5 years ago

    Terminology:
    Shotgun - The rightmost front passenger seat in a vehicle, a prime choice for any passenger, since it is the most comfortable seat, and also because of the psychological advantage of not being forced to subserviently look at the back of another person's head during a trip.
    Enthronement - The physical presence of a person in the Shotgun position.
    By Laws:
    Vehicle Ownership
    The owner of a vehicle, if he/she isn't driving, always gets Shotgun in that vehicle. It is their car, it is their seat and they get it. This is a real bonus for an owner who is falling down drunk. They can rest assured Shotgun is rightfully theirs. They won't have to worry about concentrating through an alcohol-induced haze simply to remember to call Shotgun in their own hard-earned car. Once proper Shotgun "enthronement" rights have been established, they may also be surrendered. If the owner of the vehicle is eligible for Shotgun, but wants to sleep it off in the back more...

    Merry Christmas law

    Hot 4 years ago

    Merry Christmas in Legal TermsPlease accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

    1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
    2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
    3. If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
    4. Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
    5. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
    6. Bring cheerleaders.
    7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester more...

    Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an
    environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive,
    gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practised within
    the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or
    secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular
    persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
    religious or secular traditions at all. . . and a fiscally successful,
    personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of
    the generally accepted calendar year 1999, but not without due respect for the
    calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have
    helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater
    than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere),
    and without regard more...

    Legal Christmas Wishes

    Hot 6 years ago

    Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. . . and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 1999, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious more...

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