Wishes Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    A Woman was out golfing

    Hot 7 months ago

    A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to." The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the more...

    An elderly lady was rocking on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared before her and offered to grant her three wishes.
    "Well," said the woman, "I really would like to be rich."
    *POOF* Her rocking chair turned to solid gold.
    "I sure wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess," she said.
    *POOF* She was immediately turned into a beautiful young princess with a stunning crown of jewels.
    "Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother, just as the old woman's cat wandered across the porch in front of them. "Ohh," the woman exclaimed, "Could you possibly turn my cat into a handsome young prince?"
    *POOF* Standing before her was a young man far more handsome than anyone could ever imagine.
    She stared at him in awe, totally smitten. As he moved towards her, she could feel her knees weaken. He bent down, lightly brushed his lips across her ear and whispered, more...

    These three guys -

    Hot 4 years ago

    These three guys - an American, Chinese, and German - were
    shipwrecked on a desert island. The German found this smokey bottle.
    So he brought it back to the other two and they all opened it togther
    (the German was a really nice guy). Well, low and behold, a GENIE
    POPPED OUT! The genie granted them each one wish, and of course all
    three wanted to be back home. So the genie said he would grant them
    their wishes.
    "But first, you must all do me a favor. Mr. American - I want you
    to built me a restaurant here. Mr. German - you will make the kitchen
    for this restaurant. Mr. Chinaman - you will get the supplies for the
    restaurant. I have a hot date waiting for me in Bagdad, so I have to
    go. But I will return in ONE MONTH. At that time, if you satisfied my
    requirements, I will grant your wishes."
    So for one month, the three men American and German toiled while
    the Oriental kinda lazed around and gave a helping hand to the more...

    Merry Christmas law

    Hot 3 years ago

    Merry Christmas in Legal TermsPlease accept without obligation, express or implied, these best wishes for an environmentally safe, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, and gender neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday as practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice (but with respect for the religious or secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or for their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all) and further for a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated onset of the generally accepted calendar year (including, but not limited to, the Christian calendar, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures). The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee(s).

    There are three men stranded on a deserted island (hmm sounds familiar).
    One is Italian, one is Irish and the other Polish. They have been on the Island for close to six months and have developed a great rapport with one another and become the best of friends.
    One day they are searching the shore for a sign of passing boats when they come across a bottle. When the Italian rubs the bottle a genie comes out (can you believe it!). The genie thanks the three men and says "I will grant you three wishes, but it can only be one wish each and I am so tired of being in the bottle for so long it might take a couple of weeks between wishes".
    So the Italian says "I wish I was back in Rome eating a big plate of antipasto"
    POOF!!! he is back in Rome like he wished. A couple of weeks later the Genie says ok, to the Irishman, "What is your wish"
    The Irishman replies, I wish I was back in Dublin at Mac Murphy's pub with a pint of lager. POOF!!! He gets more...

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