"Elderly Lady's Three Wishes" joke

An elderly lady was rocking on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared before her and offered to grant her three wishes.
"Well," said the woman, "I really would like to be rich."
*POOF* Her rocking chair turned to solid gold.
"I sure wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess," she said.
*POOF* She was immediately turned into a beautiful young princess with a stunning crown of jewels.
"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother, just as the old woman's cat wandered across the porch in front of them. "Ohh," the woman exclaimed, "Could you possibly turn my cat into a handsome young prince?"
*POOF* Standing before her was a young man far more handsome than anyone could ever imagine.
She stared at him in awe, totally smitten. As he moved towards her, she could feel her knees weaken. He bent down, lightly brushed his lips across her ear and whispered, "I'll bet you're sorry you had me neutured!"

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Scale

your momas so fat when she steped on a scale the scale said o shit i want ur weight not ur fone number

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

your mamma is so ugly she makes blind kids scared

Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.

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Funny Joke? 22 vote(s). 82% are positive. 2 comment(s).